You’ve heard it said that man’s best friend is a dog, which is a hard proverb to argue. Dogs love unconditionally, they get dirty, they play, and they change a man’s ways from the day they are introduced. Dogs soften and teach men unlike any other creature. Only God and infants can do better. Dogs are amazing animals. There’s no argument against how great they are. However, to believe that a dog is man’s best friend is to believe a lie. Man’s best friend has only ever truly been a woman.
There are things men would do for women that they’d never even think about doing for a dog. I have seen men change their wardrobe for a woman. I have seen men change their values for a woman. I’ve seen men change homes, cities, careers, and philosophies for a woman. I’ve seen men become fathers and husbands for women. Men change very little for a dog when compared to the changes they make for a woman. You can argue that is romance, but the best romantic relationships involve being best friends.
Think about it. When men notice a man is growing older, do they ask, “When are you gonna get a dog?” No. They ask, “When are you gonna get a wife to take care of you?” Obtaining a dog is usually presented as a second option, if they feel you have given up on women. Subconsciously, we realize women are truly our best friends.
Even at an early age, it is made very clear that a woman is the greatest gift you will ever receive in life. It’s embedded in cartoons, films, TV shows, and at school. We have always been told to get the girl. A dog was always considered to be a stand-in.
Even in the Bible, God said Adam was alone before He created Eve through his rib. Dogs existed at this time. Our supposed “best friends” were alive and well, yet God Himself said, “It is not good for man to live alone.” Dogs have never been enough. Women are.
A dog isn’t going to be able to care for you when you’re sick. A dog isn’t going to be able to call you when you’re doing evil. A dog isn’t going to be able to lift you up with love, nurture, and care. A dog isn’t going to give you intimacy. Any man who’s ever loved a woman and a dog can tell you that a dog’s love can only go so far.
I’ve loved both dog and woman. A dog is great. They remember you from that one time three months ago when you threw the ball and they had a blast chasing it. They remember, six months ago, when you gave them one of the best belly rubs in life. The belly rub was so good, they walk up to you, lick you, and then roll over on their back. Dogs are phenomenal friends.
A woman, though… Women have gotten me gifts without me doing anything to earn it. Women have encouraged me just because my head was down. Women have opened doors to opportunities I didn’t know were available. Women listen. Women help instinctively. Women remember things when I have forgotten. In my experience, women just do it better. Anyone who says otherwise has just been hurt by people one too many times, which is understandable, but still wrong.
The problem with our society is that we have developed into a country that is addicted to taking advantage of each other. Men pursue women for sex. Women pursue men for relationship and security. The interests are rarely genuine and mostly self-serving. That is how sayings like “They’re like trains. You miss one and the next one coming in fifteen minutes” or “If they won’t do it, the next one will,” come about. Even, “When are you going to get a woman to take care of you?” is about being served rather than serving. We are so concerned with ourselves that we cannot even be ourselves because to be yourself doesn’t guarantee you will be served. Society has convinced us we have to lie and be fake to obtain what we desire.
That is why I consistently get looks from men when I approach women to be friends and not another body count or wife. They feel I am wasting my time by genuinely getting to know a woman for friendship. Men have centered everything on transactional relations. They can’t recognize the issues within their mentalities because all they have been told is that a woman’s value is in her ability to make him erect or fed.
This warped mentality has infected women as well. They don’t believe that a man just wants to be a friend. He always has to want more. I’ve had issues inviting a woman to just hangout. A woman will think it’s a date, and the whole time I’m doing the same thing with you that I do with my guys. We hang out. We go to the game, we try the new restaurant, we talk, we get to know each other, and we go home. There is nothing else that needs to be added.
This evil mindset that has poisoned our minds has got to be let go. We have to realize men and women can be friends with nothing added to that. We seem to understand that concept with family. We understand that men can become brothers through friendship. We understand that women can become sisters through friendship. Yet, men and women cannot become siblings through friendship. In my opinion, that is sad.
We’ve lost touch on the true values of each other, and that has led to homosexuality and transgenderism. We’ve gotten so caught up in roles, romance, sex, control, power, and other vile things that we can’t even be friends anymore. It truly is a sad state when men cannot control their urges and women won’t force them to. It is a pathetic society when extramarital affairs are commonplace, with most involving a family friend. We have failed each other so much, and we need to stop.
I do not speak this as someone who has gotten it right all the time. I’ve contributed to the growing wars between men and women. However, the times that I did get it right were awesome. I’m glad to have such women in my life that I can truly say I do not want romantically. We are just friends and we will always be friends, for me. I am just a man wishing I was taught to see the friend before the potential wife or body count.
I wish I was taught to speak to women without thinking of sex or marriage, like I was with men. I wish I was taught to understand women without romantic inclination. I wish I was taught to see the potential sister rather than the potential lay. One of the most amazing things I was taught was to treat women how Jesus treated them.
I was drawn to the story of the woman in the well. I paid attention to the naked adulteress thrown before Elohim’s feet. I remembered the woman with the issue of blood who touched Christ’s garment. I was intrigued by the woman who poured the expensive perform over Immanuel’s feet. Mary sat at His feet, He revealed His resurrection to women first, and there are even more experiences with women.
I’m convinced, not once did Jesus do any miracle He performed for sex. He did not treat them that way for affection, an ego boost, or to go back to His home and brag to His homeboys, the disciples, about how He has what’s her name drooling over Him. He didn’t look at women the way American men do. Though they are a part of His bride, the women He encountered were not pictured in white dresses, or whatever apparel stood for a wedding day in His time. Jesus spoke to, healed, and defended women because that was who He was. It had nothing to do with an ulterior motive or sex.
May we all become the kind of men that do not interact with women for the goal of sex, marriage, or perversion. May we become men who show women love because we want to show them love. May we take care of women because we want to take care of them. Let there be no ulterior motives in our interactions. Let us be forthcoming, honest, and decent with our best friends on this earth. “The game” exists because we play it. The dating pool “has pee in it” because we refuse to be better. Men are overdue for a change. We are overdue for a demand to step up.
It is not enough for individuals to rise up and be different. We, as a society, must demand the changes together. Married men, stay with your wives. Stop entertaining extramarital activities and side chicks. Single men, treat every woman like a potential friend instead of a potential sex buddy, ego boost, toy, object, wife, or mom.
Half the things we do to women we’d never do to our best friends. We’d never think to cross our homeboys the way we cross women. Women deserve to be treated as friends. Treating them like people is not enough. Each woman is worth getting to know and understand.
Once we begin actually doing the work to see women beyond the superficial and temporary, we will begin to understand that women truly are man’s best friend. They are the reason we are not alone. We have become too spoiled from our position. We need to humble ourselves and do better by our friends.
Grow up,
Dario