Behind the Arrogance
I constantly joke of my greatness,
But in truth, I really am... greatness*.
I am only at fault for not revealing the asterisk,
Therefore alluding as if it is self-made,
But everything I am is a result of what you’ve told me.
I am handsome,
Not because I look in the mirror and feel it,
But because I cling tightly to the words of a mother
Who said it and made it matter.
I am handsome because women tell me they love my fresh cut,
And you know ya boy faithfully pays that $20 a month
Just to see the gazes of women who will never approach me.
Yet and still, it makes me feel pretty.
Like the time a woman DM’d me,
Telling me, I am handsome.
And then another DM, and then another DM.
I am handsome.
I am intelligent,
Not because I’ve studied the Bible for 15 years,
Or because I have a degree.
I am not intelligent because I’ve stretched my vocabulary
Or answered the hard test questions with ease.
I am intelligent because I am requested for wisdom.
I am told, by the young and old,
That I have a good head on my shoulders.
Though I have not been in a relationship,
I have been told I give good relationship advice.
I was never shamed for my intelligence.
Even elders inquire my opinion from time to time.
You wouldn’t ask for help from one dumber than you.
I am intelligent.
I am sweet.
I am kind.
I am silly.
I am enticing.
I am religious.
I am faithful.
I am loyal.
I am a gentleman.
I am wise.
I am passionate.
I am romantic.
I am a good listener.
I am a good writer.
All words spoken from the outside,
Received on the inside,
And declared once more when I feel shame from shortcomings.
Where words of men fail, the Word of the Lord stands forever.
I am fearful and wonderfully made.
I am worthy of the price it took to be saved.
I deserve to be a member of something great.
I am worthy of a marriage to God.
I am trustworthy enough to steward a planet and its creatures.
I am a treasure to be protected from the seen and unseen.
I am royalty, boldly approaching Christ’s throne.
I am a mentor, trusted to make disciples of all ethnicities.
I am a leader, being the example for my nephews and nieces.
I am a visionary, trusted to write the vision and make it plain.
I am gifted because the Holy Spirit has given gifts.
I am a husband, because no man should live alone.
I am a father, because I can be fruitful and multiply.
I am humble, because God expects me to serve.
For all the things you fail to say, I turn to His Word,
And His Word calls me His masterpiece...
I am greatness.
So what makes me great?
Is it the words of men or the word of God?
Dare I say, both?
For God uses His vessels of men
To encourage me in my walk with Him.
His everlasting word is spewed out of the mouths of temporary bodies,
In a temporary state,
In a temporary existence.
Yet, somehow, everything feels eternal here.
I feel like I will be handsome forever
Despite the fat growing, wrinkles increasing, and skin sinking...
I feel like I will always be intelligent,
Though I won’t have the memory to recall all that I know
And my ability to process new things has somewhat slowed.
Praise God that His Word never fails nor does it die...
Let me ask you.
Should I always voice my asterisk with my confidence?
Must I mention it time and time again
That though I stand atop the mountain,
The mountain is a collective of ancestral shoulders?
Should I name every people responsible for my birth,
Along with those responsible for my rebirth in Christ?
Do criticism and encouragement belong in the same sentence?
Are they equally yoked?
As one who often tries to marry them my with my words,
I don’t think so...
I don’t think so...