“You love being right,” is a statement I’ve grown accustomed to hearing. The origin of the statement always varies. Some say it out of jealousy and envy. Some say in out of insecurity. Some say it because they believe they’ve spotted some arrogance in me. Regardless of the source, I enjoy hearing it. Yes, I love being right. However, most people don’t seek to understand why I have that love. It’s quite simple, really.
Turn in your Bibles to Matthew 18:1-7. It reads, “…If any of you put a stumbling-block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea… woe to the one by whom the stumbling-block comes!” I have an addiction to being right, but not for the sake of being able to say I am right. It’s not because I am afraid or unwilling to be wrong. I am wrong often. In fact, I aim for the ability to say I did not cause another to stumble, especially a child.
People will say life is not all black and white, or right and wrong, and I agree. However, I do not agree because I believe there are situations that are impossible to be completely right and completely wrong. I agree because, in my opinion, we are all operating in a state of consistent grace, which allows us to explore the gray, rather than having these rigid morality lines.
For God, life is black and white. There are things He deems fully righteous and things He deems fully evil. There is a right way and a wrong way for everything. We humans are the only ones in this situation that cannot accurately judge between right and wrong in every situation. That is why we go back and forth on the subject of abortion, the death penalty, LGBTQ rights, and other politically charged beliefs. We don’t know enough about right and wrong.
We tend to let emotion control the pendulum of morality. Constantly, we make excuses for what we like and give more understanding on one subject more than the next. This instability has led to us believing we can explain conviction, justice, and accountability away. However, there is a day coming where we will have to be held accountable for every wayward thought and action we exhibited. When that day comes, there won’t be any excuses, but rather, final lessons.
Humanity is not the final authority on morality. We do not get to change its laws or avoid consequences for practicing immorality. I’d advise that you speak with God daily about what is right and what is wrong. Most of what He has to say is guaranteed to make sense, but those other subjects will require some grace and deeper learning. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be found practicing more righteous things than evil things when He comes with accountability checks.
I decided a long time ago that I would do my very best to understand the principles of life so as to help others and help myself help others. When you ask me a question, I want to be able to guide you in the right direction. I don’t want you coming back to me and telling me, “You were wrong.” God forbid I experience that one more time (although, I likely will).
I can still remember when I failed this stripper. She saw a cross hanging about my neck and asked me was it okay for me to be in the strip club. I made excuses and tip-toed around rightness to make room for lust. I shouldn’t have been there. I wasn’t there to share the Gospel or care for anyone. I was there to satisfy my hunger for physical touch. I was out of line. Yet, I told her it was okay as long as I didn’t get any dances, touch any breasts or other personal areas. I was wrong. I know that now. I learned.
The journey towards rightness is filled with realizations of how wrong you are and were. For instance, I used to think girl-on-girl sexual intercourse was something any man should desire to witness firsthand or be a participant in, but as I’ve grown, I realize it is evil. I used to think it would be fun to have a roster that I could rotate out every week, like King Solomon and his many concubines, but I am learning, it’s not as pleasant as it’s described. You still cross into the wrong parts of life which can damage you until you are old and full of white hair. Far be it from me to be a delusional old man still thinking some things are okay to do when they are not.
I reflect on the many times an evil thing was taught to me. I think on the many times that bad teaching led me to doing evil things. At times, I was selfish. At times, I was lustful. I was mean here and deceitful there. These are all lessons that I received from family, friends, society, and churches.
We have been taught that so many things are okay when they never were, for instance, wearing bikinis and baring our manly chests in public. You may think I’m extreme, but I think you haven’t thought deep enough into it… or maybe you were just blessed to not experience the lust that erupts from the exposure to G-strings, or having a woman glare at your chest with lust in her eyes.
I get it. So much of life has taught us that evil is fun and okay. However, the older I get, and the more I learn, the less I am able to ignore the wickedness behind the smiles and drunkenness. The older I get, the more I see the same evilness shared down into the next generation. To where, a child today will say the n-word in a racist manner – a word that has been condemned for over a century.
When I had my first niece, I foresaw a day where she’d ask me about life, and I’d have to answer to the best of my ability. She’d ask about women’s rights. She’d ask about boys. She’d ask about college, life, and so much more. I was already determined to tell her the truth, but once she understood my words, I realized I had to know more about the truths of this world than I ever did before. Far be it from me that I would allow my nieces and nephews to learn something evil from me, especially without any accountability on my part for telling them I was doing or being evil.
I researched. I paid attention. I observed. I was careful with my assessments, realizing that I could be wrong about anything at any given time. My interpretations are not 100% accurate. I stumbled. I failed. I didn’t learn the lesson I should have. However, when my niece asked, I wasn’t completely ignorant of this, and I hope I did not pass on any confusion to her.
Kids are the future. We have no right to ruin their future by teaching them a bad thing. I see teenagers being arrested. I see young adults passing out drunk. I see desperation in the eyes of many because we fail to teach, preach, and live truly good lives. We are selfish even until old age.
Speaking of elders, we need to recognize that elders are our building blocks. We have no right to let them live in ignorance until the day they die. I’ve gotten to the point that if an old man is wrong, I point that out to him. There are lessons we all miss in life. You never know what misery you are stopping by speaking solid truth.
Even our peers are not to be taken advantage of, but helped into growing. We need to learn to together and share what we’ve learned together. What is right or wrong? What is truth or lie? We need to dig deeper into the black and white before we pass on more gray, which is just a bland word for confusion.
Trust me. I understand it is hard to know what is fully right and fully wrong. Even the words I have written in this blog may end up being wrong or, my usual mistake, presented in the wrong way. It takes lifetimes to learn, unlearn, relearn, and change perspectives. But, remember Matthew 18:1-7[1]. Romans 14:13-23[2], and Matthew 5:29-30[3]. Do not condemn yourself to punishment for lack of knowledge[4]. Do not cause each other to stumble. We have enough faults. Let’s not add more.
That is why I try to be right. It is not to have the ability to say I am the most right in the room. I am wrong often. I am not afraid to be wrong. Most times, I feel like a man who hasn’t figured anything out. I cannot boast. I can only try my best to lead by example in the right way. I do not want to give anyone the ability to go to God and say I taught them wrong, treated them wrong, or delivered the message wrong. It happens, but with intentionality, I hope it happens less and less the longer I live. I care too much about people to let myself get away with accepting wrong and sharing wrong teachings.
I love you, cherish you, and appreciate you. Without you, I wouldn’t have become as smart as I am. I wouldn’t be wise at all. I watched. I observed. I learned. I wouldn’t be halfway close to right if I did not get taught the right things. I owe my genius to many, but mostly, I owe it to God. Everything is truly black and white. I hope we get as far from the gray as possible before the end.
With love,
Dario
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